The Foreign Service Journal, October 2014

62 OCTOBER 2014 | THE FOREIGN SERVICE JOURNAL AFSA NEWS FAMI LY MEMBER MATTERS Letter to My Global Nomads BY HEATHER HARPER-TROJE Our time in Costa Rica is nearly done and we’re headed for Honduras, which has left each of us feeling variously excited, nervous, curious and grief-stricken. Lately I’ve been thinking of some things I hope our kids are soaking in, about being a Foreign Service fam- ily and life in general. The challenges we face as nomads are some of our most important teaching tools—something I’m trying to remind myself of more often. Our upcoming move has gotten me thinking of some of the lessons I think are important for our chil- dren, so I decided to sit down and write them a letter. My Darling Children, I know our lifestyle is unusual, and it brings us unique challenges, I want to share some things with you that are important to remember as we continue on our journey. 1. Try your best to go into each host country with an open mind. I don’t have to tell you that moving is tough, and it’s even tougher when you’re leaving a country you love. Leaving Ireland was pain- ful for all of us. I’ve learned over the past two years that expectations can sometimes be harmful and it’s better to accept a country for what it is. 2. Do not compare your host country to other coun- tries, especially the ones you love the most. Boy, was I bad about this when we moved here, and I’m sorry because I know that rubbed o on the three of you. It accomplishes nothing and only leads to feeling resentful toward the country that will never live up to the favorite 3. Be open to the unique gifts each country can give you. Every country, even the toughest to live in, has gifts to give, and if you’re not open to receiving them, you’ll never know what they are. All the hours we’ve spent body boarding in Jaco, the monkeys that have shaken trees around us, hikes we’ve taken in the rainforest at night—these are all gifts, and incredible ones at that. So remember to be open to receiving! 4. Try to find something beautiful in your host country every day. Keep your senses open and be conscious of the world around you. 5. Find the humor in the eccentricities. It’s easy to get frustrated when things don’t work properly or when you’re dealing with an infrastructure that could use some help. And it’s ok to be frustrated by those kinds of things— they’re frustrating! But try to see the humor in those experiences. 6. As your dad and I tell you, you represent the United States. This is an honor, so remember to be a positive example of our country. All three of you have been amaz- ing at this, I am beyond proud of you. Keep up the good work! 7. Find a way to give back to your host country by volun- teering or helping out in some way. It’s always good to bring more kindness and compas- sion to the world by giving the gifts each of you has to oer. 8. Living in a foreign country isn’t always easy, and it’s rarely simple, but people who don’t live the kind of life we live don’t always realize that. So when people look at you cross-eyed if you are venting a frustration, try to remember that not every- one understands the unique challenges that go along with living overseas. But don’t ever be hard on yourself for being frustrated or upset. It’s just part of being human. 9. Remember that you are you, no matter where you have landed in the world. Hold on to your core and your beliefs. I’m not saying don’t be open to change (it’s important to grow), but your core, along with our family, gives you stability. So stay true to your- selves, always. 10. Remember that our roots are portable. We live kind of a weird life. I know that sometimes it feels like there are parts of you scat- tered all over the globe, but we always have each other and we have proven time and again that our roots are like steel. Above all else, remem- ber that your dad and I love each of you with our whole hearts, and as long as we are together we will always be home. All my love, Mom n Heather Harper-Troje is a stay-at-home mom to three precocious children and the wife on an FSO. Her husband’s assignments have included Conakry, Dublin, Baghdad (unaccompanied tour), and San Jose. Their next assign- ment is Tegucigalpa. Her blog can be found at www.mom2 nomads.wordpress.com. HEATHERHARPER-TROJE